Under pressure

Aren't you amazed sometimes about other people and what they are going through in their lives? The hurt, pain, suffering and "issues" that people have seem to be endless sometimes, don't they? And doesn't it seem like sometimes is all bad stuff happening to the same people?

David and I had the privilege of an unexpected date on Sunday evening (thanks to my mother in law!)and while we were out, we of course talked about our upcoming trip, but we also got to talking about some friends of ours and their personal situations as well as some other peoples work related situations.

We easily went from one person to the next saying things like "How about so and so? Can you believe they are dealing with that?" And "Boy, isn't that a hard place to be in life?" And,"that's gonna be a long road." It just went from thing to thing to thing, and situation to situation.

I've been thinking a lot about that since then, and I find it amazing at the amount of stress and pressure that people have in their lives, yet they continue on. Cause there are some situations that I'm aware of that, that if it were me in that same situation, I fear I might curl up and die!

Then, ironically today - before starting this post, I checked things out over at Crocuses In March - and my dear cousin has a post that goes along so nicely with this one. Take the time to check it out, since she's already written hers, I'm going to keep mine short! She shares many of the same ideas and even scriptures that I was going to share!

I will add this one thought... I have friends who are not believers going through really hard times. I don't know how they are doing it. I don't know at all what hope they have that gets them out of bed in the morning and carries them through the day. But I do know this - one of those friends is trying to find their way back to the Lord. This friend was raised in a Christian home and over the years has chosen a different path, but now I'm seeing Proverbs 22:6 and rejoicing in God's promises!

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Many of these situations have also brought me to my knees many times for these friends!

I'm thankful for my relationship with the Lord, and I know that it needs to be stronger, and sometimes when the daily-ness of life seems to gets to be too much for me, I remember first, there are others that have it a LOT worse than me. Second - my life is SO VERY WONDERFUL, and third - I know where to go when I cannot do it alone - to my Savior! And I'm so thankful for that!

In good times and bad

As you already know (or at least have ready my opinion) - marriage is hard. But marriage can also be totally wonderful!

Think about some of the wonderful sides of marriage. You get to spend time with someone who knows you, like really knows you (some times even better than we know ourselves!) and loves you anyway!

Being married means you don't have to date anymore! And let me tell you, with the way things are these days, I'm really glad to be not dating! We have a friend who is still dating, and he - get this - uses Craig's list to get dates. Yes, I'm totally serious! I'm glad I'm not dating these days!

There are also many wonderful things about being married, and good times are good for sure. And I think bad times are really hard. This is true of every relationship we have in life I think. Good times are good, and we need those (I think) to help get us through the harder times!

I've read several books about being a good wife, and mother. Some were really good, some not so much, but here are a few I've read that I've really really enjoyed and have made a positive impact on my and my marriage.


Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For by Sharon Jaynes. This is a fantastic book! I loved it, and highly recommend it to every wife!

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. This is also really excellent for many relationships in life!


The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. This book has great scriptures to go with it! I love this book when I really feel the need to be praying the Bible.

This next book isn't about marriage or even relationships, but more about yourself... and those of you who know me, know I gotta recommend a Beth Moore book!
Get Out of That Pit: Straight Talk about God's Deliverance. Really, there are several books by Beth that I would recommend, but this is a really good one and it's an easy read!

OK - again, there are several more that are really great, but these are good ones to start with! Feel free to click on any title, it'll take you to Amazon.com and you can preview the books.

Also, if your reading this post and have books you love, please feel free to share! I'm always on the lookout for good books!

Marriage

I'm once again at a place in my life where I have a couple of friends going through really hard times in their marriages. With these around me struggling, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about and pondering marriage. And David and I have talked a lot about our marriage and how to keep it safe and protected.

So I've been thinking about what happens in a marriage? What makes things even start down the wrong path? Here are a few thoughts I've had...

I think sometimes at the beginning of a marriage there are several misconceptions. These are misconceptions that any good premarital counselor goes over with a couple before they get married, but they are also things I don't think the average person thinks will happen to them. So either they don't pay that close of attention or they totally dismiss what is being said during counseling. So we enter a marriage all happy and hopeful and in love. Which is great, until "real life" sets in!

I think most people go into marriage wanting the same things: a life partner, a friend, someone to help make decisions with, someone to support us in life and work. Seems pretty simple, hu? Then why is marriage so hard? Why are there marriages falling apart all around?

It's because marriages don't just happen. A marriage and a wedding are 2 different things! A wedding is the easy part (which is a laugh if you've ever planned a wedding!) and the daily-ness of marriage is the hard part.

We love the person we're married to, so why is it hard? Because we're all human that's why. We make mistakes. We say things, do things, and act in ways that hurt the person we're married to. Often these things start out innocent enough. I think very few people wake up one morning and think "today, I'm going to say something hurtful to my spouse!" But sometimes that happens. Then you add in the "normal"(children, school, jobs, money, cars, house)stresses of daily life and eventually - if not handled correctly - these "little things" turn into big things and then they get bigger and bigger and before we know it things "just aren't good anymore."

Then for some reason (I guess mostly cause it's kinda hard) people don't talk about it. They just keep on in their unhappy state, fuming and holding grudges and before we know it there's a huge wall and neither person knows how it got so big or how to deal with it's size now.

I don't have the answers here, these are just my thoughts... but men and women are so very different and it's a process learning how to talk to each other - and talking to each other is key. It's hard, I know. I'm not the best communicator, and often I handle things in the wrong way, or at the wrong time, but thankfully David is patient and understanding and we usually get around to the issue. Of course this process in itself can sometimes be painful!

I think the other thing that married couples forget to do or don't do - is spend time alone with each other. This is especially true if there are children in the home. We get to busy doing "stuff" and taking care of the house, laundry, etc... that we forget how important it is to spend time alone together! As a very wise friend pointed out the other day - in not that many years, the kids will be gone but my husband will not. So that relationship is so important to foster! Taking time for each other is key!

I have a bunch more to say on this topic. But I've been writing and rewriting this post for nearly a week now, so I'm gonna post this and then just add another post at another time!

On a last note... if you and your spouse are having trouble - seek help. Call a friend (preferably of the same gender!), a pastor, a counselor... someone who can listen to you and pray with you and support you! Satan wants nothing more than to take down as many marriages as he can. Let's not let that happen!

First hints...

The weather in NC is normally hot and humid in the summer time. And you can expect those types of temperatures until at least mid to late September, and often into early October.

Which I really don't mind usually! I like summer. I like summer activities, playing in the pool, going to the lake, going to the beach. I like being outside in the sun! And we've had a great summer doing all those things! It's really been all I could have hoped for!

But this past weekend was unseasonably cool and it was really nice! We had a really good weekend, it was nothing unusually special. Breakfast with the in laws and then home to do some cleaning of the stuff that was living in our crawl space due to mold (that's a whole different post!), and in general just hangin' out and getting stuff done. It was nice to be able to be outside and work and not completely sweat to death! It was nice to have all the window's open!

I might have to say, even a bit hesitantly, that I might be looking forward to fall. There are things I am growing to love about fall weather such as the aforementioned open windows, and doing stuff outside, but also it brings the need for routine since we're on a school schedule, which I like.

Fall also brings football! This is a newer thing here at the Winslow house... we're developing a new appreciation for football and I think it's a great reason to have friends over and hang out! I love a reason to have friends together!

So I think I'm looking forward to fall this year!