Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Today’s been hard! Not hard like the kids have been bad or I’ve had something awful happen to me, or even something kinda bad – nope, nothing bad has happened. It’s just been hard in the sense that I would really like to eat. And eat a bunch of really bad for me stuff! Which I haven’t done in a while (well, except Christmas and New Years!), and am working on NOT doing today!

I’m talking about greasy, cheesy, fatty, yummy stuff! Pizza, boneless wings from Buffalo Wild Wings, a bacon cheeseburger from Five Guys and a big, big thing of french fries!!! Goodness, that’s just making it worse!!!

Here’s the thing – at least for me. I know I CAN have that stuff… any of that that I want, cause every once in a while isn’t a big deal, but I’ve been working hard, hard, hard for the last 2 months to really watch my calorie intake so I can lose weight! And after sweating up a storm this morning riding the bike for 30 minutes and burning only 140 calories. That's a lot of work for so few calories to be burned. So I’m choosing NOT to eat those things today! Even though I want to, really bad! I even had this thought about it leaving the gym this morning…

“When I get down to _____ (this weight) I’m gonna go for some really yummy Don Juan’s!”


Why would I want to reward myself with food when I’ve worked for 2 months to lose 14 pounds?!?! It’s just what we do isn’t it?!?! We feel like we deserve something for all our hard work! No one was rewarding me when I was putting the weight on, but now I want to reward myself with food when taking the weight off?!?!?! Maybe that's how I got here in the first place!? OK – maybe I can be convinced to reward myself with a new pair of shoes instead!! I do so love shoes!

Anyway, so far in this journey to a thinner me – I’ve had a few days that have been challenging. The feelings of being stressed out and needing to (but only really wanting to) eat has sometimes been overwhelming and at times depressing. Cause boy, it’s hard to work out 5 days a week and get on the scale and have lost nothing or maybe only .5 lbs. That’s hard! It’s a long, slow process sometimes. It can get a person down for sure! But I like to remember this little thing that David has hanging on the wall in his office. Helps me to remember that if Christopher Columbus can sail across the ocean, I can go without some yummy Mexican food!

The diary of Christopher Columbus shows that he fed the greater self and starved the lower as he went through rough storms, dealt with damaged ships, faced deprivation and feared mutiny. Day after day the entries in his log were alike.
“This day we sailed on.”


Lukw & Avery's Nanny said...

Hang in there cutie!!! You can do it, I know you can! I'm so proud of you!!!! Maybe another motivator that's closer than your trip coming up in September is that size dress you ordered for Chanda's wedding!?! YOU CAN DO IT!!
Love you!

Holly said...

thanks! I'm happy with the results so far. NONE of my cloths fit - so that's good. It's just the call of the mexican food - - it's strong!!! :-) but I resisted another day - like Columbus - today I sailed on!