Warning: this is a long, kinda whinny post! Don't read if you don't want to!
Before children I was never the kind of person who felt like I needed time "to myself" I liked being around people, liked talking (well I still like talking), liked activity, enjoyed a classroom full of little people and their excitement of learning, could sit and tell David about every detail of my day and wanted to hear every detail of his day.
Now, things are a bit different. I have truly come to value a quiet minute. One minute you might say isn't very much time - and you would be exactly right, but some days (obviously like today) I covet one quiet minute. These days it's all about being, or doing or talking to stopping or getting or going or changing or making and on and on...
I do so love my children and am trying hard each day to enjoy them, and most of the time I really do. Then there are days like today that even the smallest amount of time when there is peace - I'll take peace over quiet any day - I'm happy. That's happening right now. Peace mind you - not quiet. Luke and Avery are going through that learning to play together stage and right now, as I type Luke is pilling the pillows up and they are throwing themselves onto the pile. For now, they are into each other - thankfully they aren't in need of me at the moment. Not to last too long I'm sure. Nope, Luke is now telling me just what they are doing - even though I can see what they are doing. And I’m sure someone will get hurt here in a minute… but for now… it’s the times when they aren’t getting along that seem to never end: “she pushed me”, “she’s coming over here”, “she’s got my train” , or his newest thing – talking jibberish, then there’s the constant screaming from Avery when Luke takes matters into his own hands, or the dog barking when Luke attacks her, or the constant talking from Luke about everything and nothing all at the same time. Honestly today shouldn’t be like this – Luke was in preschool until 1:00pm today!!!!!
It’s weird all the ways that children change a person. Now, there are days when I could spend hours and hours alone in a quiet house and be totally happy. Of course that would pass and I would be dyeing for someone to talk to and I would be missing my kids and all that, but before them – never would I have just WANTED to be alone – but now there are times when I WANT to be alone. I am even jealous of those who share about their times alone!!
One way I’ve started working my schedule to get a bit of time alone is by getting up earlier in the morning. Now, Luke is usually up at 7AM SHARP every day! Honestly sometimes he’s up before then, but we’ve managed to get him to stay in his room until he sees a 7 on the clock! And some nights (like the past 2) he’s up in the middle of the night. But I’ve started getting up in order to have my devotions and complete my daily Esther homework.
So far it’s working REALLY well. The hard part is when Luke is up in the middle of the night, and Avery’s been up with a cold some the last few nights, that it gets hard to get up earlier in the morning, but just like everything else – when I do it – I feel better. God is faithful to bless me in my time alone with Him. I am more of a morning person anyway, but being up in the night makes it hard to do that every morning. I’m really glad I have been. I’ve been totally blessed by it… and some days it’s the only quiet time I get until bedtime!!